Some Realities of life

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success ??.. is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich.. Which never works.

If at first you don't succeed.. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it always lands on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

42.7% of all statistics are made on the spot.

If you have paper, you don't have a pen ?? If you have a pen, you don't have paper ?? If you have both, no one calls.

If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.

2B or not 2B ? I think it's a grade of pencil.

A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired.

A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?"
The father answered immediately, "I don't know. Nobody has lived that long yet."

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.


Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a tatol mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.

A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A computer is almost human - except that it does not blame its mistakes on another computer.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older ?"

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods !
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God !

Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

--------------- THE END ( for now !! ) -------------------------------