10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer

Number 10:

When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked
because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my
arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died."

Number 9:

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their
name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is
located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their
company for as long as necessary.

Number 8:

Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you
been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she
tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

Number 7:

If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan,
reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...
would you be my friend?"

Number 6:

If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and
you could sure use some money.

Number 5:

Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest" and ask if they could bring
you a case of beer and some chips.

Number 4:

After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When
they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.

Number 3:

Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will
give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say
"I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The
telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

Number 2:

Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on
Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

And first and foremost:
Number 1:

Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.